Friendships

How many of us can say that we've been friends with someone for more than 10 years? 15 or 20 years? 30? How about 40 years?

I am one of those lucky ones to have a couple of best friends. Toni, I've known since birth. He's my brother from another mother and Cheryl I've known about 15 years. Cheryl is my sister from another mister.

Toni

My mother and Toni's mother were friends. We lived in the same building. Toni is a few months older than I am. Having grown up together and our families always being together, Toni and I grew up more like siblings than friends. He was always a scrawny kid. Lanky arms and legs, not much to him. He was a true geek. I never took shit from anyone. I used to fight anyone that picked on my siblings (biological or not). I was their protector.

That changed a little as we got older. Toni and I had always lived close to each other. Never more than a few minutes drive. We always tried to get together as often as we could. Food was almost always involved. Into our teens and even as adults, we got together at least once a month. We always picked a different restaurant. One we had never been to. We were always open to trying new food. Sure we had our favourite places (Pig Out BBQ has to be my all time favourite that we went to), but we were always looking for something new to try.

Toni saw me go from a confident person where nothing and no one could keep me down to feeling like less than nothing and believing that I was less than nothing. That was because of my first marriage. When my first marriage ended, Toni is the one I called.

He was now like my protector. He has seen me at my highest of highs and my lowest of lows.

This is the farthest Toni and I have ever lived from each other. We don't talk often any more because of schedules and the time difference, but when we do talk, we pick up right where we left off.

He surprised me by showing up in Australia a couple of years ago over Christmas. He stayed with family while he was here, but we made sure to do the things that we do best...laugh and get some food.

Cheryl

Cheryl and I met about 15 years ago at the trailer. My parents had a trailer in Bobcaygeon and Cheryl moved into the park.

When I first met Cheryl, she was very shy and quiet. Took a lot for her to open up and talk to anyone. When we met, our marriages were very similar and I think that's what brought us closer together. We were both married to narcissistic fuckwits. Our marriages had a lot of similarities, but a lot of differences too.

We didn't hang out much outside of the trailer for the first few years of our friendship. After I ended my first marriage, we started hanging out a lot more. Her marriage was on the outs at the time too.

We compared stories over drinks as often as we could. We would spend entire weekends doing nothing but cooking, eating, drinking and most importantly, laughing until every bit of us hurt.

Newly single, we both started dating again and were a major support system for each other. We spent almost every weekend together just hanging out like sisters.

When I decided to move to Australia, Cheryl and I spent more time together knowing that the next time we hung out after I moved could be years away. Cheryl and I chat as often as possible and try to do a video chat at least once a month.

I know Cheryl will never come to Australia. Our snakes and spiders scare the shit out of her. I can't say I blame her. They scare the shit out of me, but, this is my home now.

These 2 will forever be the family that I choose. I miss them like crazy.